Fearless by Jessie Keane

Author:Jessie Keane
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Macmillan

78

Aysha was mad about Joey Minghella. Every time she saw him she wanted to either throw up with nerves or grin like a Cheshire cat. Sneaking around with Joey was the best fun ever. Sometimes, when Connor didn’t collect her from work, Joey walked her home, and they took detours along the way so that they could kiss. They kissed so much that her lips were sore.

‘What’s happening then, Aysh?’ Mum would ask now and again, keen eyes fixed on her daughter’s face.

‘Nothing much,’ she’d shrug, fizzing with excitement because tomorrow she would see Joey again. She was so happy she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

Shauna knew that look. She’d been like that herself, with Josh, in the early days. ‘Is Aysha seeing anyone?’ she asked Connor one day when they were alone.

‘I saw her talking to Joey Minghella once,’ said Connor. ‘That’s all.’

‘That boy!’ Shauna’s lip curled in disgust. ‘I don’t like that family. Bunch of deadlegs.’

‘I told her.’

‘And she said . . . ?’

‘She said sure, she’d steer clear. But you know Aysha.’

Shauna did. Aysha went her own way and bollocks to everyone else. ‘Keep an eye on her,’ said Shauna.

‘Always do,’ said Connor, sighing. His mother was forever running everyone’s lives for them, and it was fucking tedious.

‘Oh, come on!’ said Shauna, seeing his expression. ‘I’ve a right to know what my own daughter’s up to.’

‘Yeah. Sure,’ said Connor. ‘I’ll keep a watch on her, OK?’

Shauna couldn’t believe how fast the years had passed. Her son was getting little alley-cats pregnant and her daughter Aysha was a full-grown woman, and now Shauna was well into her middle years. She was noticing the odd wrinkle or two, the stray grey hairs in her once magnificent dark mane that she got coloured out at an expensive salon. It was an adjustment, and she supposed women who were blissfully happy in their marriages handled it pretty much OK. But when you suspected your husband was happiest when he was away from you – and he was away a lot, mostly in the States – then it got difficult. You began to see a long tunnel stretching ahead, with old age and death at the end of it, and what was there to sustain you?

Your kids, that was all. Shauna had a lot invested in them. She adored them. And that was sad, too, because knowing that proved that she had nothing else. She thought that this was the situation: Josh was happy enough to go on with it all because he had kids off her.

But this was her life now. It would have to be enough. And there was always Jeb, lurking in the background. If she craved sex, she could turn to him – and shamefully, she often did. She was never going to be free of him; after everything that had happened, they were linked and could never be separated. He’d seen to Kylie and she had paid him, in cash and in kind. That was what her life amounted to now.

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